No surprises in this bracket. None at all.
#1 The Clash – London Calling vs. #16 B-52’s – Rock Lobster
This thing was over before Joe Strummer hit the first notes on this tele. All this rock from Joe Strummer and company almost turned Fred Schneider straight.
Winner – The Clash
#2 The Ramones – Blitzkrieg Bop vs. #15 Ned’s Atomic Dustbin – Happy
This was a personal conflict for me because there are very few songs that have had a greater impact in my life than this Ned’s song. I can remember the first time I heard it and to this day, it changed the way I listen to music. That being said, it was still no match for the 3-chord brilliance of the Ramones.
Winner – The Ramones
#3 Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody vs. #14 Beck – Girl
This may not be Queen’s best song, but is probably their most recognizable. This song goes through a variety of flavors and ends up with the most common in this tournament, the rock! Brian May’s solo melted Beck’s face. It was not restored.
Winner – Queen
#4 Pixies – Debaser vs. The Doors – L.A. Woman
Say what you want about Jim Morrison, but he was an overrated songwriter and turned into an even fatter prick. This song may rock and is my favorite Doors song, but it doesn’t stand up against Black Francis.
Winner – The Pixies
#5 The Kinks – You Really Got Me vs. #12 The Police – Roxanne
This was the closest match in this bracket, but in the end, the better songwriter came out on top. I am certain that if Sting didn’t break this band up and didn’t turn into a complete douche, this song might have been rated higher, but since he did, Ray Davies owned him in this matchup.
Winner – The Kinks
#6 Pink Floyd – Fearless vs. #11 The Stooges – I Wanna Be Your Dog
In one of the strangest matchups of the tournament, straightforward raw rock and roll met beautiful psychedlia. Turns out beauty overwhelmed brute force.
Winner – Pink Floyd
#7 Guns n’ Roses – Welcome to the Jungle vs. Kings of Leon – Slow Night So Long
This was possibly the most rockin matchup of the tournament. In what started out as a close game, Slash took over in the 2nd half and completely killed the kings with his massive solo and pure shredding. If you could compare guitar work with the basketball, Slash got a triple double in this game.
Winner – G n Fucking R
#8 The Jam – Town Called Malice vs. #9 Elton John – Tiny Dancer
Up until right now, I didn’t realize how many gay musicians were in this bracket. Despite sexual orientation and the use of Kate Hudson to sing this song, Elton could not handle the pure brilliance of Paul Weller and the Jam. One of the more forgotten British Rock groups, The Jam came back from an early deficit in this game to really stick it to Elton.
Winner – The Jam